Sunday, December 5, 2010

Shodn't You Buy Me Dinner Frst?

My son is planning a trip to Cali in Janury. In owr ribbing fashn, I askd him as I had seen on th news 2 resnt extreems of the whol 'body scanning' and 'body pat down' whch he was going to choose. Door #1 or Door #2. By now we have  all seen the guy who refusd both sayng he didnt buy a sexual assult with his ticket. AND if yuo HAD missed thihs littl nugget of 'in yuor fase', this lady was patted down TWISE.....
ummm WHAT??
Ok so my son sed the scanner is prefrable to him cos he dosnt want anybody tuching him. that wod be my chois too.
Now I no the effrts are to minmize terorism and maxmize safety. so whethr yuo agree or disagree is up for debate! pleez comment! The folowing is purely abowt humor and is not intended to anger anbdy, 'speshly my son's futur pilot....if this had ben an actul insult I wod be waring a fez hat and pointng alot and riting all in caps. This has ben a test of tth Emrgnsy Sara Humr Systmatic Intigratng Tool, ESHIT.

Heers a few of owr ideas if yuo prefer the pat down as opposd to th scanner whch shows ALL soft tissue. let that sink in.....
1. dowse yuorslf in Purel, thn hand it to tth employee and insist ttha do th same. no i NO yuor waring glovs! and i no wher thayv ben! nxt, put on this mask, and i'l put mine on. oh and heer, step into ths surgicl sute. its paper thin! but safe. nothn like a good body condom fr public safety.

2. eet an entire onion and drink 4 rootbeers bfor yuor turn. whn its yuor turn try to burp the ABCs jus like yuo did in colleg.

3. OR eet a good ole bowl of french onion soop and a crock of beens on th side. and pipe a diffrent tune.

4.  as thay put ther hands on yuo tto begin th serch, begin to screem as lowd as yuo can. whn tthay stop, startld, just look at thm. whn thay start, screem agen. whn thay try to politely tel yuo to shut up, say 'what? i didnt say anthg!' if thay try to detane yuo, yell lowdly FOR WHAT! SCREEMNG WHN SMBDY GRABS MY TATAS??

5. to speed up th prosess, ths wrks speshly for guys, ask for the pat down offisr's fone #, rasing one eybrow sujestivly. eh? eh? hubba hubba

6. have a pocket full of earthworms. thn whn thay ar discovrd, cry 'CRAP! ther gos th secret earthworm spy sect! i supose yuo have send them back? what abowt th redhead earthwrrm, can SHE stay??'

Welp tthats all I have on THAT fr now. feel free to add yuor own! and I may pick this up latere.


No secrt, I love shopping. tthats why this part of my blog is so fun.  This nxt desiner is 'fluent' in purses and gorgus pillows, meet GraceDesign's Shop. I totly fell in love wth tthe butterfly cluch of corse. but look at tth othr stuff!
$70 wth $18shipping, LOVE the desine

$26 and $14shipping, isnt this gorgus?

$45 and $10shipping, and LOOK how she kept tthe pattrn!

This is SUEDE! for $30 and $8shipping

Heers a shop we mustt peek in to....SilverBeachSeaGlass by jewelry desiner Kathy Fry is full of lovly 1-of-a-kind gifts. Ther's alot of sea glass avalabl, but this shop is in itts own cclass. From hand choosng eech peese of glass, polishng it til it practly beems, to desining what it wil become, choosng just th rite medium, hammering silvr, etc....its all meticulsy done wth care. and as yuo can see, eech peese is a true wrrkk of art.
i adore this, just look at all the atten! $34 wth $2shipping

Rare Red, this is calld Amanda's Red, $42 wth $2shipping

more than glass, the pottery she uses is stellar, $32 wth $2 shipping

delicat cornflowr blue, $20 wth $2shipping

Elegant White, $32 wth $2shipping

ok this is wher I get to plug my OWN shop, hehehe Welcom to my world, wont yuo come in?
It is not too late for custom christmas cards. Yuo can choose mine, mix and match(YES i WILL discount for tthat, just contact me bfor ordering)
I can use yuor own favrit photograph, editing provided free of charg. I speshlize in vintage editing, taking the 'old' owt of yuor cherishd memrys and imortlizng them onse agen. So consider a DVD or a photo book made espeshly for yuo or yuor lovd one. I'v had sets of DVDs made for famlys, whch I thot was cool.
Heer, check out some of my own photos that are good for cards, or photo groopings for the holidays.

welp, thank yuo for sharing yuor coffee wth me this morning. Have a grate day!


  1. LOVE the airline 'ideas'!!! Thank you so much for writing me up!

  2. Here is something my Grandpa sent to me via email about it:
    Here's a solution to all the controversy over full-body scanners at the airports:
    All we need to do is develop a booth that you can step into that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have hidden on or in your body. The explosion will be contained within the sealed booth.
    This would be a win-win for everyone. There would be none of this crap about racial profiling and the device would eliminate long and expensive trials.
    This is so simple that it's brilliant. I can see it now: you're in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion. Shortly thereafter an announcement comes over the PA system, "Attention, standby passengers! We now have a seat available on flight number..."


  4. had both myself and my hubby laughing so hard I had to leave the room! love ya!